Goodbye and thanks for all the Fish

So it's been two years since I last posted on here.

And I mostly blog on Tumblr these days so...

This is the end. I'm going to keep the blog up as an archive of my achievements/obituaries/whatever I posted here. Just for the sake of my own ego.

But thank you all for reading my posts and, in true Gren fashion-

Live Long and Prosper 

Fuck the World.

Just. Fuck it.

Okay. Yeah? Fuck the fucking world.

Cool. 

LLAP

Agent Carter has finished it second season.

And as usual, I loved it!

Because of spoiler haters out, I won't post my favourite moment in the series. But it took place in the finale and it involved Director Sousa. It was not the ending, but one of the many action sequences. And to me, it was a thing that Cap would've done. 

That said, once again, Agent Carter's ratings were low. 

Do I think Agent Carter will get a third season? I honestly don't know. I didn't think it would get a second season because of its ratings and how long it took to come out on DVD, and then ABC renewed it. 

So I'll just say that I hope it gets a third season. The more Peggy Carter there is in my world, the happier I will be. And no, its not just because Hayley Atwell is a damn fine looking woman. 

LLAP

2016: Updated Bucket List

As usual, I'm going to start off by apologising for the lack of updates; Real Life stuff got in the way. 

And also as usual, I'm going to completely gloss over the real life stuff (since I might post about it in a future blog post) and get on with what it says in the title. So this is the original list (the strikethroughs were already there, since when I wrote the list I deliberately included a few things I'd already done).

1. Travel more.
2. Say yes to more things.
3. Draw more. - WIP
4. Write more. - WIP
5. See family & friends, particularly the ones who are further away than others.
6. Go to a ceilidh.
7. Meet Neil Gaiman.
8. Write a book, not necessarily for publishing but just so I can say I've written one.
9. Learn Blender.
10. Walk more.
11. Spend more time outside.
12. Have an obscene amount of sex.
13. Learn an instrument.
14. Take a camera to more places.
15. Spend more time on original ideas.
16. Buy a 3D printer.
17. Actually keep a phone.
18. Go to a comic convention in costume.
19. Post a full animation onto Youtube.
20. Play Cards Against Humanity. 
21. Stop making excuses and actually do things. - WIP
22. Cook more.
23. Remember that I am ill and there are times I can't do what other people can. But on the flip side, that is not my whole existence. Find the proper balance. - WIP
24. Be happier. - WIP
25. Spend more time offline - WIP
26. Learn to paint.
27. Go bungee jumping and sky diving.
28. Actually organise my DVDs properly.
29. Start the 3D printing business.
30. find a lovely girlfriend.

I am pleased to note that I have, in fact, accomplished a few more things off that list. A few more are now WIPs, so I'll note those next to it. New completed ones are struck through and bolded. The WIPs have WIP written next to them. 5 is bold now but not struck through because I have done this, I've seen a lot of family and friends this past year, but I don't want to give up on this one. 

And now, some more items for the bucket list:

31. Don't use Dad as an excuse not to do things.
32. Stop worrying as much about money.
33. Don't be as annoyed by people when they don't want you to help/do things. They know that you push yourself too hard sometimes.
34. Dance more - it's fun!
35. Get out of routines. They're safe but not necessarily fun
36. Remember to rest. You might hate it but it's good for you.
37. Be more creative.
38. Read less Star Trek, read more not Star Trek.
39. Try and eat better.
40. Think more before you resort to sarcasm - it's not always funny to everyone.

And that's it. That's my updated bucket list. 

LLAP

Children

So once again, the blog went on a bit of hiatus without warning. Sorry about that.

Some real life stuff of the big kind got in the way and pretty much everything, and I mean everything, got wrapped up in a sheet and pushed to one side. It's still wrapped in that sheet, for the record, but things are slowly returning to normal. 

Hopefully the blog will be one of them.

And that is not at all what I want to talk about. Normally when I come back from a hiatus, I will make a mini-post announcing my return and promising a post tomorrow which will appear a week later. Not this time.

Because this time, I have been inspired and actually have a topic I'd like to discuss. 

Babies.

No, I am not about to become a father. That would've been announced with a photo of the sonogram or whatever. However, at the moment, there are suddenly a lot of babies around. One of my best friends has welcomed a little girl into her family and I'm staying at my aunt & uncle's house with my cousin, his partner and their 9 month old girl. So naturally, the topic of babies and whether or not I want to be a father has been on my mind.

The truth is, I think I would be an excellent father. I am good with small children and thanks to nursing, I don't have an issue with bodily fluids. Since my sleeping pattern is shit anyway, I have no problem getting up at all times for feeding, changing, etc. Quite honestly, I have zero problem, save the lack of a girlfriend/wife, with having a baby right now.

But I do not know if I want to become a parent. My body is a genetic time bomb, as many readers know. I don't know if I want to have children, knowing that I might become a burden to them later in life, or even sooner. It might be that I decline rapidly within the next few years. It might be that I don't. I don't know. No one does. But there is always that thought at the back of my mind whenever I see a baby smile at me (and yes, babies always smile at me) which makes me think about having one of my own. 

Anyway, sorry about the downer/deep thoughtful post so soon after returning.

LLAP

I have never really seen the point of April Fool's Day.

I prefer tricking people the other 364 days of the years ;)

Leonard Nimoy has died

Those are words I hoped I would not have to write for many years. Perhaps they would be here or perhaps they would've been on another blogging site. Who knows? The question is mute now anyway. After a short hospital stay, at the age of 83, Leonard Nimoy passed away today. As many fans around the world have and are no doubt doing, I thought I would take a few minutes of my time to write down my feelings on the matter.

Growing up, I was always an outsider. I never really liked or played sports. I had a few but not many friends. In school, I tended to be the quiet child and later, teenager who kept to himself and did his work. Outside of school, I rarely had friends over at home. There wasn't any particular reason for that. I always just enjoyed my own company.

But growing up, there was always Star Trek. Being born in 1988, I missed The Original Series on its first run. I grew up with Jean-Luc Picard, William Riker, Mr Data and the rest of the crew of the Enterprise-D. Naturally, since the series was called "The Next Generation", I figured there was a series before but my knowledge of it was limited to what my parents talked about and the trailers I saw whenever we bought a new Star Trek VHS. 

Then one day, we bought an Original Series VHS. The one containing the first episodes, in fact. And I was widely unimpressed. While I enjoyed knowing more about the characters who had paved the way for my favourites, I didn't especially care about them. 

Until the Balance of Terror. 

Then I saw Spock being singled out by Lt Stiles because he happened to resemble the Romulans. Suddenly, I felt the starts of a connection to Spock. I had been bullied at my primary school, to the extent I was taken out and home schooled, and here it was, happening to someone on Star Trek? 

That began my love of Spock, which over the years evolved and expanded to include a love of Leonard Nimoy himself. When he joined Twitter and started asking if anyone wanted to be an honorary grandchild, I was one of the ones who immediately *screamed* "Yes!". When I first heard his voice on Fringe, I practically squealed with delight and when he saved Chris Pine's Kirk from that giant lobster monster in JJ Abrams' reboot of Star Trek, I slapped my brother's arm with delight so many times I think he still has the bruise.

So it is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to another of my childhood heroes. He lived long and he truly prospered, and that is all we can hope for. Here is his final tweet, posted just days before his death.

And to close, even though it is incredibly cheesy, I will leave with the catchphrase most associated with him.

Live long and prosper

A few posts relating to yesterday's attack in Paris...

So I was on 9Gag today and the sheer number of posts relating to yesterday filled me with pride. Normally I don't post things related to tragedies, because a lot of the time I struggle to deal with them. Killing people is something I will never understand, and killing people in the name of a religion which specifically goes out of its way to say "killing is bad" just further confuses me. But for something like this, I felt the need to. 

So, here are a smattering of my favourites

These are the Dutch Cartoons today. They are all black in memorial. 

This one is my persona favourite 

 And finally, here's some closing words from one of my all time favourite American Presidents.

Live Long and Prosper

I am not a healthy person

I don't mean this in an illness kind of way, though it is also true. I mean this in a fitness kind of way.

Despite my skinny appearance, I know for a fact I am unfit. I get out of breath walking to my friend Jeremy's house, which is barely three tenths of a mile. That's roughly 1584 feet or 618 yards. I eat poorly. My diet consists of very few vegetables compared to a lot of takeaways. 

"So start exercising," I hear you crying. 

"Ha," I laugh back at you, imaginary voices in my head. "If only it were that easy." And this is where my general unfitness turns medical. A big problem for me and my fitness is that I suffer from a little known (but often wished for) symptom called Exercise Intolerance. So while I sit here, gloating over the smug voices in my head, I am also a little stuck at what I can do about my own health.

It's that time of Year where people generally flock to the gym in their thousands with ridiculous phrases like "fit in '15" in their head. I'm not like that. For starters, gym memberships are a little beyond my price range. For another, my nearest gym is a whole 0.6 of a mile away from me. AND there's a hill. So that's always out of the question.

So I took my next best option.

One benefit of having super rare genetic condition (aside from the mutant powers, obviously) is having contacts in the medical world. I have a specialist consultant, his team, a researcher, a specialist sister and a wonderful woman who amounts to a social worker as e-mail contacts. I also happen to have an exercise person.

The year before last (or was it last year) I did an exercise study for her, where I had a tiny incident (my heart stopped a bit too rapidly). Anyway I dropped her an email and she's ringing me next week to talk about what I think I'm capable of doing (Seriously, nearly adult I talk to for longer than 20 minutes ends up becoming over cautious about me - probably in response to my complete lack of cautiousness about my own health). So we'll see how that goes.

So I agreed to do a favour (read: I'm being paid) for a friend.

Then I took a look at what he needs doing and it's like a shit-ton. And he needs it doing by tomorrow. It's also in a field that I have little to no experience in. So tomorrow's going to be an interesting experience for me. 

But I'll keep reminding myself that I can do this. I'll put on my "Good Songs" playlist, wake up at a reasonable time and, since I'm working, I'll actually get dressed and be a respectable adult person, instead of a man-child hiding in an adult body.

And by god, I am adding it to my CV. Because experience, bitch!

Live Long and Prosper!

An opinion

As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the moving media. Films, television and animation, I love them all. 

But by the same token, there are actors and actresses who can make and break something for me simply by being in it. These people can mean the difference between me seeing something and not. This is not unique. Everyone has them. My friend Jeremy, for example, will generally see something if James Corden is in it. While I have a dislike for him myself, I will still generally not be put off by his presence. 

Having said that, though, I do think that there is usually an exception of one or two film that these actors appear in that the people enjoy. 

(I am excluding cameos. For the sake of this argument, the actor in question has to have a starring role. For roles involving Voice Acting, it again depends on the level of involvement.)

For me, that actor is Will Ferrell. 

I cannot stand him. Elf is a prime example. Elf is innocent enough. It has an entertaining storyline, a good supporting cast and an actress I would extremely cringe-worthy scenes for (I'm looking at you, New Girl) yet I cannot stand Elf because of Ferrell. the Anchorman series is likewise wasted on me, because of him. I simply do not find him funny. I think he is annoying. 

But having said that, I think Stranger Than Fiction is a great film. Ferrell is the main character, and the plot revolves around him being both a real person and a character in Emma Thompson's character's book, in which he will be killed off in the end. I don't know if its because he doesn't play the role with his usual level of hamminess or not but I would go as far as to say I even like Ferrell in this film.

The Lego Movie and Megamind are other examples of this. I think with these, it's because I don't see Ferrell himself (save for the ending of (SPOILERS) TLM). I enjoy him more as a voice over actor, I think. 

In closing, I feel that I have to say that I nothing against Will Ferrell the person. I just don't like him as an actor. 

And to you, my loyal readers, I ask. Is there an actor or actress whose presence in a film would immediately put you off seeing it? Let me know in the comments below

Live Long and Prosper

Conversations with Past me

So for this blog entry, I'm going to try and imagine what pressing questions my 15 year old self would have for me if he was here next to me, and answer them. And to make it easier for some people, I'm going to put the questions in a different font.

Beware, swearing and hormones to follow.

So do you have a girlfriend yet?

No, but we did date a bit in 2014. That has to count for something, right?

Seriously? No girlfriend at all?

Nope, sorry.

Really?

No! New subject please!

I'm very disappointed in you. What about work?

Still unemployed, sorry.

WHAT? No girlfriend and no job? What happened to you, man?

Well, I was a cocky little gobshite who thought he didn't need to revise for his GCSEs and that turned out oh so brilliantly. We're working on both fronts though. Give us time.

Well, this is great. Have we at least travelled anywhere yet?

Actually, we have. We've been up to Scotland plenty of times. It's really-

Scotland?! But we fucking hate Scotland! 

No, we hate someone from Scotland. It took us a long time and actually meeting other people from Scotland to realise we didn't hate the country. And as a result, we've applied that philosophy to the rest of the World as well. We're a lot happier as-

Oh for fuck's sake! Is there anything we do hate?

Chavs.

What the hell are chavs?

Spoilers.

Okay then, so at least we're still a bit weird. So we've no girlfriend and no job. Next you're going to say we never went to Uni.

No, we went to Uni. 

Nice! What did we study?

Nursing.

NURSING?!? What the Hell?!

I know. I was as surprised as you when I applied. But hear me out. I started out with the intention of getting grades to apply for a film course.

That makes sense...

But I actually enjoyed it. The sense of helping people actually made me feel good. 

.....Seriously?

Yup.

So we're qualified as a Nurse now?

Um...

What?

I'll explain later.

Okay... so how come you don't have a girlfriend? Are you gay or something?

*sigh* Looks like this might be a two-part Blog entry....

What's a blog????

Live Long and Prosper

Bucket List

So I was talking with someone last night, and the topic of my illness came up. She suggested that I make up a bucket list of all the things I'd like to do. I know I already have one somewhere on this blog, but I thought I'd make a newer, more up to date one. I'm including some things that I've already done, so I can cross some things off already and feel accomplished.

So here goes.

1. Travel more.
2. Say yes to more things.
3. Draw more.
4. Write more.
5. See family & friends, particularly the ones who are further away than others.
6. Go to a ceilidh.
7. Meet Neil Gaiman.
8. Write a book, not necessarily for publishing but just so I can say I've written one.
9. Learn Blender.
10. Walk more.
11. Spend more time outside.
12. Have an obscene amount of sex.
13. Learn an instrument.
14. Take a camera to more places.
15. Spend more time on original ideas.
16. Buy a 3D printer.
17. Actually keep a phone.
18. Go to a comic convention in costume.
19. Post a full animation onto Youtube.
20. Play Cards Against Humanity. 
21. Stop making excuses and actually do things.
22. Cook more.
23. Remember that I am ill and there are times I can't do what other people can. But on the flip side, that is not my whole existence. Find the proper balance.
24. Be happier.
25. Spend more time offline.
26. Learn to paint.
27. Go bungee jumping and sky diving.
28. Actually organise my DVDs properly.
29. Start the 3D printing business.
30. find a lovely girlfriend. 

And that's it. 30 things that I want to do.

Well, 27 if you want to be picky. And yes, as I grow up more, I shall update this, both with strike-outs and more entries, because I'm intending to live for a good long time and I need a few more goals.

Live Long and Prosper

So, for the hell of it, I decided to write down the last thought I'd ever have as a 25 year old, and my first as a 26 year old.

They were...

"Cheese" - which is normal for me. I spend a not inconsiderate amount of time thinking about cheese. 

And

"Brent Spiner can sing, but his cover of "Goodnight, Sweetheart" is not his best work" which makes sense if you know that I was listening to it as the clock struck midnight. 

So there you have it. A tiny insight into my mind.

Live long and prosper

Without a big hoo-ha, I've disabled my OK Cupid account.

Just disabled, mind, not deleted. I am probably not done with online dating, I'm just taking a break from it. Unless something miraculous happens and I meet someone in the real world without the aid of the internet, I'm fairly certain that online is my best chance of meeting someone.

But at the moment, I'm tired. And I need a break. 

So I've disabled my account, while I clear my head of some things, sort some other things out and generally get myself in order. Just some stuff like that.

Live Long and Prosper

So I had a blog post...

So I wrote a blog entry before that announcement. It told the story of last Saturday's bonfire party. It was about how we first arrived, what was eaten, who we loved and who we (I) hated and, most importantly of all, just how many people John managed to insult before we were ushered out of the house, possibly forever.

It was a true piece of beauty.

Then I got a stupid idea that I should do an announcement post with the "Surprise, Bitches" meme first. So after turning this beautiful, amazing first blog back post into a draft, I did some searching, found an appropriate use of the meme and made the announcement post.

Then I accidentally deleted all the draft entries, since it's an automatic reaction with my emails. 

Will I ever rewrite that entry? Probably not. Will I let that one slip-up stop me writing on here more? Probably not.

So until next time, loyal readers.

Live Long and Prosper

UPDATE: I was reading through some of my old entries, and noticed that while I had mentioned having interviews, I didn't say anything about whether or not I had gotten either job.

I didn't. The one at Victoria Hall went to someone else. But I got a lovely phone call back, saying how it was a tough choice, that everyone had given a really good interview and also received some pointers on doing better. This took some of the sting out of the whole thing.

The other one, however, didn't hire anyone. As it turned out, the day after the interviews, they decided that they really only needed one assistant, so the second position was axed. Last time I checked, both Workable and the people who ran the course I had been on were looking into it.

I was put onto a brief placement, but by that point, the long hours were taking their toll and by the second week, I had a minor fit and my advisor, Sue, decided that I should take some time off from both the program and from claiming Jobseekers. So now I'm employment support, resting up (still) and starting to try and learn Blender, a 3D modelling program, in order to either get on an animation course to learn more about 3D character design or just jump ahead and open a store on Etsy.

So how are you all?

An announcement

Yes, hopefully starting soon, more regular updates shall be coming from me to you. And just like Mr Holmes, no explanation for my absence shall be forthcoming.

Live Long and Prosper.

Why Michael O'Hare actually left Babylon 5

So two years ago, I wrote about Michael O'Hare's passing. 

As I mentioned in the above blog entry, Michael played Jeffrey Sinclair for the first season of Babylon 5 before his character was written out. He returned to the role a few times over the next two seasons before completing Sinclair's arc in the season three two parter War Without End, where it was revealed that he was, in fact, the Minbari holy figure Valen.

However, the reasons for why his character being written out were unclear. All that was known was that it was a decision mutually decided upon by O'Hare and JMS, B5's creator and main writer.

At least, they were until the Phoenix Convention in 2013.

There, JMS revealed exactly why Michael O'Hare left the show.

He had started having paranoid delusions, which progressively got worse and worse during the first half of filming. It had become harder for him to work, as his behaviour was affected. Michael sought treatment but he was afraid that, since he was the main character, an extended medical leave would result in Babylon 5's cancellation.  JMS offered to suspend production, but O'Hare refused. He didn't want to put so many people's jobs at risk. 

JMS agreed to keep his secret to protect his career and, in return, O'Hare completed the first season but was written out of the second so he could seek treatments. Though they were partially successful, he was never truly cured. 

When he returned for appearances in B5, JMS promised that he would keep O'Hare's secret to the grave. O'Hare instead made him promise to keep it to his grave. He felt that the fans of the show deserved to know the truth and hoped it would raise awareness for people suffering from mental health issues. 

On the 25th of May at the Phoenix Comicon and eight months after O'Hare's death, JMS fullfilled that promise.

Why am I mentioning this? For one reason, it's almost a year since that occurred. For another, I had neglected to mention it at the time I found out because I was still struggling to cope with balancing my social life and my work load. The third and main reason is this. 

I was looking through my blog and read my entry about O'Hare. I was horrified to realise I hadn't updated it. So I decided to correct that mistake and the article you've been reading is the result of that.

Live Long and Prosper

Interviews, interviews, interviews

So it's been a while since I posted, and that is my fault. Real life stuff got in the way for a while and so things got put on the side and, unfortunately, forgotten for a good long while. 

But instead of telling everyone about that, I'm going to talk about my day today and why it means I'm going to return to semi-regular blogging.

For the last month or so, I've been part of one program or another to get me back into work. The first was Workable, which deals with people who have disabilities and works to get them back into work. It was good, I met some excellent people who I will never see again (lol) and generally honed some skills and discovered some new ones. 

Then my advisor put me onto another, week-long course. It was also intended to get people into work, but it works with local employers to get them into work. They also give you training, which includes a mock interview and then give you at least one interview with employers. 

Today, I had two.

The first was an event manager assistant at Victoria Hall, which is literally a ten minute bus ride away from home. I met with two people, who asked me questions. It wasn't as bad as I thought, and we all actually had something of a laugh as we spoke. Personally, I feel it went very well. 

The second was for a position with Locally Grown. It's another government run project that deals with local people to get small business up and running. As with the events manager, I was early and made sure to go over some answers I'd considered and chatted with the other workers there.

Both interviews went well, but I think I did better at Victoria Hall. I got a bit flustered at my second interview, which I think was because it was at the end of my day. However, I shall find out on Tuesday what they thought about me and whether or not I actually got a job, or will be put into a talent pool.

That's all. Update done. How are you all?

Live Long and Prosper 

The Lion King

So a couple of weeks ago, I went to see the Lion King at the Alhambra theatre in Bradford.

It was awesome and I got a t-shirt!

Toddles!

PS - sorry for not updating this for a while...