Thursday, 3 February 2011

How to survive a Zombie apocalypse pt II

It has come to my attention (thanks to a drunk friend) that I hadn't considered something: 

Zombie Dinosaurs
So my add-on to the plan, due to the fact that Zombie Dinosaurs (and other extinct creatures) have been dead longer and are thus more powerful, is this. 

Step 1: Get Rich (Again, without this step, you will all be eaten by Zombies (Possibly Zombie Terrorbirds).

Step 2: Research Teleportation Technology and/or a Stargate.
Step 3: Build a Teleporter and/or a Stargate.
Step 4: Buy the Moon! (Yes, the MOON) 
Step 5: Build a city/supervillain's Headquarters on the Moon with all the same features as the Apartment Building. Oh, and another Teleport and/or Stargate.
Step 6. Pray that in the time it's taken to do this, the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't started.  
Step 7. Buy a small Nuclear Device with a timer then leave them next to the Teleport/Stargate.
Step 8. Leave your teleport/stargate on! Yes, the power costs will be enormous, but at least you'll be able to skip that pesky warm up cycle. 
Step 9. Buy Guns and Ammo!
Step 10. Tell only those you wish to share the Moonbase with about the Teleport.

You're sorted!

Now what to do! 

A. Zombies are sighted! Run to your Teleporter/Stargate. If necessary, kill people to ensure your survival! 
B. Pray you don't run into Zombie Raptors! They're fast and angry!
C. When NEXT to the Teleport control/Stargate's wormhole, activate the Bomb with as small a delay as possible and then run through! 
D. The resulting explosion will wipe out your Teleport/Stargate, stranding you on the Moon forever...but at least you're not Zombie Food!
E. Live out your life, only without the option of Squash-a-Zombie and Bait-A-Zombie. 

F. Really, this should be D, but I forget it. In case of group travel, check everyone for Zombie Bites. If one is found, kill the person and make sure no one (Tim for the English/Kieron for the Scottish) has sex with the body. 


Thanks for the reminder, Alex!



No comments:

Post a Comment