Plotholes, plotholes, plotholes...

So I was watching an episode of Smallville today, not something I regularly do. I watch enough to have some idea of what's going on. I know that Callum Blue is playing a clone of the awesomely cool Zod:

Yes....I can see the resemblance....

Anyway, the episode I watched was Pandora, and dealt with one of the characters trying to find out what the hell Lois Lane was up to when she mysteriously disappeared for several weeks. As it turned out, she'd been wearing a magic ring that teleported her to the FUTURE! (No, it isn't the One Ring - wrong franchise)

And of course, like most science fiction programs where the main characters don't regularly pop to the Future for milk, it's one of Doom and Gloom. But before I continue, have a bit of background for my readers who don't watch Smallville.  

At this point, Zod and his fellow clones are powerless under a Yellow Sun, but have them under a Red Sun due to Jor-El and a handy piece of Blue Kryptonite. This was before (SPOILER ALERT) they discovered that a drop of Clark's blood would somehow magically reverse the damage due to their DNA (END OF SPOILERS) so he decides to build a tower to make the Sun go red, and give everyone back their powers. 

And back to the point! In this now Alternate Future, Zod built the Tower, and the Sun went red.

What? You thought I was joking about the Tower?

However, as an additional bonus (for Zod), the Red Sun has stripped Clark Kent of all his superpowers. That basically means that Zod can conquer the World unopposed. He COULD do it by himself, but instead he choose to do it with an army of his fellow Kryptonians. After all, why get your hands dirty?

Zod's Back up plan: An army of Superpowered Flies.

So let's recap. Zod's conquered the World, Humanity are slaves to their Kryptonian Masters and the Red Sun is really getting everyone down. You can tell it was bad when TWO of the main characters were killed off in this future (killing one means it bad, killing two means it's SERIOUSLY bad. Killing an entire cast....WHOA)

And Zod beat up Clark....does that count as abusing a cripple?

Fortunately, Lois went back in time and Clark, prewarned, used his heat vision to destroy the uncompleted Tower that would've brought this future to pass (Wait - Zod knew about Clark's heat vision...why didn't he make the damn thing heat resistant?) and we all lived happily ever after, unenslaved.


Now, I'm all for this ending. I'm beating the Kryptonians put the Humans into two categories: Slaves and Food for the Slave. Since I'm physically weak and sarcastic, I doubt I'd have been made a slave. But I must point out one very large plot-hole. (There are others, but this one, I feel, is the biggest of the lot).

Zod's weakness for Brunettes.

Lana Lang. Clark Kent's first love. The probable cause of his fetish for women with the initals L.L (look up Lori Lemaris if you don't believe me. Don't worry, I'll wait)

Maybe not just women wink wink nudge nudge

BACK to my point. In her last series (which is before Zod's appearance and therefore before the Timeline got buggered up), Lana Lang gained SUPER-POWERS! Honestly, super-powers! She gained speed, strength, stamina and invulnerability from a nano-tech suit under her skin. Basically, she was supergirl, only not Blonde....or Kryptonian:

Or Laura Vandervoort

However, she also gained a super power Clark (luckily) never had. Kryptonite Absorption. This basically means she could absorb Kryptonite radiation. This, in fact, proved to be quite convenient when Lex Luthor tried to blow up Metropolis with a KRYPTONITE BOMB!

"And then I was going to head back to my secret Moonbase and have a beer with the Joker and Sinestro"

Lana could've absorbed the Kryptonite, but it would've permenantly ended any hopes for a relationship between her and Clark (not to mention their growing partnership) since she would become a walking piece of Kryptonite for all intents and purposes. In the end, she decided to absorb the Kryptonite and leave the love of her life forever...

Not to mention do a pretty good impression of Green Lantern.

This lead to the heartbreaking (though nowhere near as good as when Buffy stabbed Angel) scene where Lana Lang kisses Clark (nearly killing him I might add) and then walking away forever (really - she's not coming back for the Finale and all). Thus ended an eight year love affair of God-like proportions. 


But what does that have to do with Pandora I hear you ask? Simple. 


In this new future, Lana Lang would've basically had all of a Kryptonian's powers AND she was radiating Kryptonite. Not only could she kill a Kryptonian with her death touch, but she had all their powers so they couldn't even take her out long distance. Surely, she could've just jumped in (she can't fly) and beaten the snot out of all the clones, ending their rule of Earth in about two days flat. Simplier still, it's already been shown that the key to Zod's plan wasn't that well built (if its not flame proof...) so she could've just walked in and smashed it with the aforementioned super strength, rendering all the clones powerless and restoring Clark. 

But she didn't. She didn't even get a passing reference in the story, so I can only assume she's alive, content to live in the newly formed country of Langland with her human slaves.


Your move, Smallville writers....